


Auld Lang Syne

by Ria84



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BB8 is a girl, Bathtubs, But she's so cute he won't be able to resist long, Cabin Fic, Devoted Reylo, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, LOTR parallel, Mutual Pining, New Year's Eve, New Years, Oral Sex, Past, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Resentment, Size Difference, The Force Ships It, Vaginal Sex, alteranting POV, bed sharing, cabin fever, nothing good ever comes from exercise, obscene amounts of plaid, sasquaches don't drive do they?, snowstorm, trapped together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ria84/pseuds/Ria84
Summary: Rey makes an ill-advised attempt at hiking on December 30th and ends up lost and injured. Fortunately for her, she is not alone on the mountain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineGreen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineGreen/gifts).



> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Trixie <3

 

 

Taking the phone out of her vest pocket, she mentally prepared to hear all about how much of an idiot she had been leaving the cabin on her own to head out for a hike.

”Come on the snowboarding trip to Montana they said. It would be fun they said. You know where there are no protruding roots and plenty of cellular signal? Fucking not here!” Rey grumbled out loud to absolutely no one. 

After putting forth her best efforts into getting herself up off the ground, she took a moment to take inventory of her injuries and other indignities resulting from her clumsiness.

She heard the  _ pop _ before she felt the blinding pain; even if she hadn’t been trained as an athletic therapist, she would’ve know even before landing in the heap of dirt and snow that her fall was detrimental to the intactness of her limbs. What she wasn’t expecting however, was the blinding pain radiating throughout her right arm. She must’ve tweaked something when she landed on it.

She was furiously chiding herself but talking out loud seemed to ease some of the agonizing pain on the entire right side of her body.

Rey was trying to keep herself from spiraling into utter and complete panic. Half of her body being  significantly injured, having no cellular signal or the slightest clue about where on god’s green earth she’d ended up after her tumble made was rendering her efforts useless. 

_ Now I completely understand how people get lost in the woods and just die. I suppose a slow frozen death would make for a beautifully preserved corpse.  _

_ Much more preferable to being mauled by a bear. Which wouldn't happen. Because they’re hibernating.  _

_ Bears are smarter than your average hiker.  _

She smirked at her inner workings and pleased that at the very worse, her warped sense of humor was still very much intact. 

To make matters so much worse, the soft snowfall that had lured her out of her comfy nook in Poe’s cabin had turned vicious after the cold wind changed direction and it was now teetering on a full-fledged blizzard.

Rey felt like she’d been stumbling around for hours and she was getting sleepy. The cold permeating her to the bone no longer put up a fair fight overwhelming all her senses, killing the fight in her. 

She sat down in defeat, balling her knees up to her chest in a final attempt at preserving some body heat in her core, where her organs needed it the most. 

Just as she was about to succumb to her fear, frozen tears streaking her cheeks, a  pair of enormous warm hands dug her out of her snowy layer.

_ Perfect! Death by Sasquatch!  _

He scooped her up like she weighed less than a snowflake, cradling her to his chest and carrying her to a warm vehicle idling somewhere nearby. 

_ I don’t think sasquatches drive vehicles. So that’s the good news. The bad news is i’m still probably going to die at the hands of some creepy ass mountain man sex pervert! Well done to you peanut!   _

Before she could take inventory of her rescuer or her surroundings, the last of her strength left her and she fell into darkness.

*** 

The strong scent of burning firewood and fresh white balsam woke her. She stretched her limbs languidly only to be painfully reminded of the injuries she’d suffered due to her less than stellar decision making abilities. 

She opened her eyes as the pain in her arm and foot brought on afresh bout of  tears. She was startled at the complete lack of familiarity with her surroundings. The earlier panic returned and knotted in her belly, making her nauseous. 

“Where am I?” she asked to one on in particular, hoping that somehow she’d garnered superhuman powers and dragged herself to this place, sans-assistance.

“You’re my guest.” She couldn’t see the owner of the low timbered voice that had just startled her so badly she’d almost lost control over her bladder. 

_ Well what’s a little insult to injury right?  _

She yelled out in the cabin, fully aware how ridiculous and borderline hysterical she sounded “I need you to know that I have a black belt and I will not hesitate to use it.” 

_ Lies. _

“What an odd way to say thank you.”  the voice was closing in judging by the muffled thudding of what sounded like heavy boots, causing her to clutch at  the fuzzy throw she was wrapped in. 

_ Now, would a rapey sasquatch own fluffy white knitwear? Best make sure.  _

“So are you like, a reclusive mountain man sex pervert?” she said in the most intimidating tone of voice she could muster. 

“What did you just say?” the voice was close now but so soft. Almost sad.

“Are you a raper?”

He rounded the corner of the sofa she was laying on and finally came into the light.  Rey felt like she was about to swallow her tongue at the sight of him; he was one the tallest men she had ever seen - on par with some of the football players she saw on a daily basis in her training room. But unlike the boys she worked with, this was a grown man. His body was filled out in all the right places, a scruffy goatee adorned his snow-white face and perfectly framed out his pouty lips. 

She was practically leering at him as he crouched down next to the couch and  placed the tray he was carrying on the wooden coffee table next to her feet. 

“What the fuck is a raper? How hard did you hit your head when you fell?” he looked at her with weariness. 

_ Oh my God! He probably thinks I’m crazy too!  _

“I may have. I think I may have dislocated my shoulder but I  _ know I _ broke my ankle. That baby is fractured along the fibula. Maybe some torn tendons too. What I don’t know is who you are, where I am and how I got here.”

She was in no mood to address any of the ridiculous things that have come spewing out of her hysterical mouth up to this point. 

He poured her a cup of steaming fresh coffee, the dark roast flavour blending with the scents of cozy winter inside this room. 

The striking man took his seat across from her in an old creaky rocking chair. It was too soon to determine if this was still cozy or creepy.

_ Time will tell.  _

He poured a cup for himself and regarded her for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek, seemingly trying to find appropriate words.

“Ok first off.  I’m Ben. You’re in my home. I brought you here after I found you half buried in the snow, completely unconscious on my property.”

_ Identify Sasquatch. Check. _

He leaned forward, resting his tattoo-covered forearms on his tree-trunk like thighs and  continued as she remained silent, for a change.  “Second… as much as I would love to see you use those impressive karate skills to put me in my place, there is no need.  I am not a sex pervert. ok?” 

He used air quotes and enunciated “sex pervert” to drive the point home of how stupid she sounded. It irritated her nonetheless.

If it was someone else in this situation, she would have laughed at how ridiculous it was that he had to give her this assurance. But it made her happy to see him placating her like this. Genuine concern was showing on his face and those deep pools of darkness he had for eyes pinned her in place. 

“Ok.”

“Great. So now that we got the intros out of the way, could you tell me what exactly were you doing roaming around in the backcountry by yourself wearing insanely inappropriate gear for this weather?”

_ Oh right.  _

She left Poe’s cabin in a huff, just looking to get some distance and catch her breath so she would not blow up from the buildup of emotions she’d experienced during the holiday getaway. 

It was unseasonably warm the entire week as she celebrated what was potentially the last Christmas with her best friend. 

The fortune gods had smiled on her – maybe to make up in some small way for the bouts of endless misery and loneliness her childhood had been – and crossed her life path with Bebe Dameron’s.

They were complete opposites in almost every aspect of life; the petite redhead was open and outgoing, her effervescence seemed to pull everyone around her in her orbit. Rey on the other hand was shy and guarded, labeled as snobby and cruelest of all, unapproachable.

All she had ever wanted, ever since she can remember, was to belong, to have friends.

When Bebe had introduced herself on her first day of practicum with the University of Washington training staff, Rey was thrilled to have someone to chat with. Little did she know at the time, that after spending and entire day getting to know each other during the lulls of football training camp, they would become inseparable.

They moved in together in sweet little apartment on Pine street, minutes from the Pike Place Market and a 25-minute bike ride from the University. It was an old place, with creaky floors, drafty windows and its fair share of mystery smells, but Rey loved it. It was the first home that had felt  _ hers. _

Life had been wonderful these past four years and this change was daunting.

Bebe was moving out, having accepted a job on the training staff of the Boston Red Sox. This was supposed to be their last big vacation together, having been invited to Bebe’s  brother’s cabin to spend the week with him and his fiancé Finn whom she loved right away. 

Bebe Dameron was her only family and she would be losing her in just a few days. Rey just needed to clear her mind for a bit, think on her next steps. She’d left the cabin wearing jeans, uggs and a thin little white hanley under a slightly less thin vest. 

All utterly useless when the weather had suddenly turned. 

“This was totally appropriate when I left the cabin you know. I am not a completely ridiculous person. ”I’m sorry I’m so rude. You totally saved me and I’m being such an ass. I’m Rey.”

“Solo. Ben Solo.”

“That was very Bond-ish of you.” she chuckled feeling herself become less tense. She was safe, she was warm and was being tended to by Paul Bunyan’s hot brother. There was also something about him that was familiar, comfortable even but she couldn’t quite figure out where she would’ve met.

“Do you want more coffee?” he asked politely, not hinting in any way that he was aware of her ogling him.

“Actually, I was hoping to use your phone so I could let my friends know where to find me.”

“That’s no problem but I’m afraid you and I are going to be ringing in the new year together.”

_ What! _

“What?” there was the panic again, making her breath hitch in her throat. 

His eyebrows creased as he regarded her, trying to make her understand what he was saying, in the manner one would if they were speaking to a child. It infuriated her. 

“I don’t know if you’ve peeked outside, but we are going to be completely snowed-in in a matter of hours and there is no way anyone will be able to reach us until this storm is done. My Doppler radar readings indicate this will last close to 48 hours.”

“Two days! I’m stuck here for two days?” she spat, her frustration completely out of control. He almost seemed hurt by her thoughtless outburst. If he was right, there was nothing else either of them could do until the storm stopped.

She had to fix it. She couldn’t have him think she was ungrateful. 

“I don’t mean that you’re not great company but that’s such an outrageous amount of time to spend with a complete stranger.”

_ Even an unfairly hot stranger with hands the size of snowshoes. _

He didn’t seem as concerned as she initially thought; he stood and tipped back his mug, swallowing the last drops of coffee and extending her a chance to admire him without his awareness. 

Ben moved about his living room and out of her line of sight once again. Curiosity at a peak, she had to place all her weight on the healthy side of her body and push herself up so she could peer at him. 

Her loud whimper caused him to stop stoking the fire in the wood burning fireplace and watch her intently. 

“Sorry, I just wanted to see what you were doing. I’m still a little woozy from earlier.” 

“If you’re still worried that about my potentially sinister agenda, please rest assured that nothing will happen to you.” 

She felt the blood rising to her face and pool in the apples of her cheeks, the head from her embarrassment having nowhere to escape. 

“I didn’t mean that. I’m just generally not a trusting person, it’s difficult to be alone with a complete stranger.”

“Well, we’re not alone.” He let out a chuckle and before she could ask, she was startled by what could only be described as a medium sized polar bear making his way through the small space of the living room in her direction.

“This is Chewie.” Ben introduced her to his furry buddy and brought him around for her to take a good look at him. He was gorgeous! Covered in a lush white coat of fur, his big chocolate eyes watched her intently as she allowed him to sniff her hand. He seemed he was satisfied as he nosed her hand with his wet leathery snout and proceeded to lick her face, to her immense chagrin. 

“Down boy!”

Ben chuckled as he scratched behind the dog’s ears. “Don’t let him fool you Rey, this dog is all bravery until the slightest bit of cold hits his paws; then he turns into a lap dog. Well...more like a couch dog, he does weigh close to 150 pounds.” 

She realized she loved hearing her name on his lips and needed to hear it over and over again. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, until she winced in pain after changing her position on the couch. 

“So Ben! Can I ask you something? I don’t mean to be rude but what exactly are you doing living out here all in your own with the abominable snow dog?”

He cleared his throat but didn’t interrupt his soft strokes down the dog’s back, then answered her “it’s a long story. And not a particularly warm one. I umm...I used to live in Seattle and played professional football but I had to retire due to injury a few years ago.”

“Oh! I actually specialized in treating football  injuries. What position did you play?” There’s one thing they could talk about, although he seemed uncomfortable broaching the subject.

“I was a tight end.” 

_ You certainly have one of those don’t you big fella? Jesus Rey! _

“That’s a tough job. Lots of knee and back issues.”

“That’s one of the reasons I couldn’t play anymore; I tore the ACL in my left knee. They repaired it surgically but it was never the same.” 

“Are you a doctor?” he asked with genuine curiosity. 

“No. I’m an athletic therapist. A trainer. Actually, I’m not fully qualified yet, just have one more semester of practicum under doctor Organa before that’s official.”

His face suddenly darkened as he seemed upset by something. It wouldn’t be something she’d said though. Could it? 

She felt a jolt of desperation as he stood and made to walk away; for whatever reason she could not stand the thought of him not being close by. 

“Ben, I’ll need you to give me a hand patching myself up. Actually, you’ll probably have to do all the work but I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

“Oh ok?  Do you want to shower first?”

Rey became painfully aware of how filthy she was, her damp clothes crusted over with dirt and leaves from her fall. A shower sounded like heaven. Except... “That would be so great, but I don’t think I would be able to stand on this foot long enough to get through that.”

His brows creased as he worried his bottom lip “You could take a bath if you wanted?”

“A bath.”

She practically swooned at the idea. She hadn’t been able to have a proper soak in years. Being able to languish in the toasty warm water as her muscles relaxed was a dream. Again though, the logistics were not on her side.

“Could you give me a hand?” she asked shyly. Her question taking him by surprise because he seemed frozen in place.

“Yah. Umm...sure?” he didn’t seem certain what she was asking and Rey thought he was blushing under those perfectly tousled ebony curls that were covering his face.  

“I’m not too certain how this will work but I will need some help getting in and out of the tub. And…” she paused, clearing her throat that seemed to be constricting for... _ reasons _ “and I’ll need your help to get undressed.” 

He gulped and Rey stared as if hypnotised  by his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. 

“So I take it you’re no longer concerned about me potentially being some kind of weirdo looking to take advantage of you in my woodsy lair?” 

She cackled as he broke the tension for a moment and left to get her bath ready. Rey spent a moment getting her thoughts together and tried to make sense of everything that’s happened in such a short period of time. She’d spent the morning sulking, fearful of the changes that were thrust upon her without consideration and now, due to some sort of divine intervention, she was about to ask the hot non-weido mountain man to get her naked and into his bathtub. 

_ What the fuck is even this day.  _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's POV and things get more interesting!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am writing it :) it'll continue heating up, probably 2-3 more chapters to go I think!

Ben Solo was more convinced than ever that the universe was entirely against him.

He’d diligently distanced himself from his family and friends, deciding to move off the grid and live a life of quiet solitude and it had worked, until today.

Her being here forced him think on everything he’s shut away and never allowed himself to reminisce. Everything he’d given up, whether by choice or circumstance.

Leia Organa was the most prolific orthopedic surgeon specializing in sport injury rehab in the United States. Hailing from a family of extraordinarily successful professionals put pressure on him entire life. Pressure to succeed and perform at the highest echelons of his occupation just to stay on par with the other members of his family.

Where a normal family would’ve been proud of their only child succeeding as a top professional athlete, his simply tolerated it. It had taken his mother years to accept his decision to drop out of medical school to pursue a football career, fearing he’d walk the same path as his grandfather. His uncle has not spoken to him since the day he’d left his office at Stanford almost ten years prior.

He certainly had the capacity to become a surgeon, after all Stanford didn’t just hand out full academic rides to everyone. But football had given him something he never got from his family - freedom, respect and most importantly, love. A shallow, fickle love as it turned out, but he’d clung to it with everything he had.

Ret looked at him with wide eyes and a smile so bright that it could melt all the snow covering the Rocky Mountains, pulling him from his reverie.

She wiggled from under her cover - his mind momentarily reeled at how it would always smell like her and he will have to dispose of it as soon as she left, lest t sat there, taunting him for the rest of his miserable days.

She grimaced as she attempted to place weight on her shoulder that was clearly dislocated and hissed in pain.

“Rey? I hate to ask this but we both know what’s about to happen, right?”

Watching her clutch her flimsy vest tight across her chest, gaping at him with fearful eyes made him realize that no, in fact, she didn’t.

“As much as I love being thought of as a predator in my own home, let’s put an end to that train of thought immediately. Ok?”  _ For fuck’s sake. _

She seemed embarrassed, blushing as she swung her legs off the side of the couch, coming to a full sit position.

“That needs to be set.” he gestured to her shoulder that was dropped significantly in comparison to the other.

She winced, fully expecting the pain to come, asking in a soft voice “Do you have any painkillers?”

“Sorry, I don’t have any drugs in the house... other than some weed.”

“I’ll take it if you’re willing to share? I’m not much of a smoker but I think that should do the job.”

_ Great. That’s great. Let’s get her stoned before we give her a bath. That is the exact opposite of getting her the hell out of here. _

He walked to his kitchen where he kept his stash, shaking his head. He continued to mentally admonish himself as he rolled a couple joints. He needed something to take the edge off too. It’s been a while since he’s done anything remotely medical and as much as he hated to admit it, he was nervous.

He inhaled a deep cleansing breath and returned to his living room where she was seated comfortably under Chewie’s watchful eye. The fluffy white dog was resting on his haunches, panting with his tongue hanging out as the girl was giving him a thorough scratching.

He loved her.

_ Man’s best friend my ass! Fucking traitor! _

He cleared his throat to call attention to himself, carefully lighting a joint and taking a couple of tokes before passing it to her. He always had some around, it helped him manage his own pain and discomfort.

She didn’t hack and sputter, much to his surprise.

“Ok?”

“I don’t know if anything about this is  _ ok  _ but I think a few more minutes and you can get to work.” She answered as a cloud of smoke left her parted lips.

They passed the joint back and forth between them until it was done, and he was already feeling the tingly effects of the drug, his body responding and relaxing in kind with every moment’s passing.

He allowed himself to look at her again, taking advantage of the distraction Chewie’s pink portly belly presented to her provided. She was sweet and so, so damn pretty. If circumstances were different, she would be just his type.

_ But things are not different are they? Back off Solo. _

She gazed over at him with hooded red eyes and a perma-smile, the effects of the drug taking effect. “Are you ready for this?” she asked.

“Right. Yes. Can you lie down on the floor for me?” he answered her in the most dulcet tone, treating as if she were a patient.

“Could you give me a hand?”

He acknowledged her request with a nod and stood, deliberating how to go about it without jostling her too much and also touching her as little as possible.

He scooped her up with an arm under her knees and one gently wrapped around her waist, placing her on the plush area rug as quick as possible. But not quick enough to not notice how good she smelled, like strawberries and fresh rain and how delicate she was this close up.

Ben helped her lay down on the hard surface of the floor, bending her injured arm at a 90-degree angle away from her body, and held her tiny forearm in his hand. “Ok, this is the tough part, are you ready?” She closed her eyes and took and inhaled deeply, preparing.

He tugged and pushed forcefully, resetting the appendage in its joint on the first try. “Good job champ!” he praised her sincerely, utterly impressed with her threshold for pain. She didn’t scream, she didn’t curse, the tears rolling down her alabaster cheeks and the tiny hand gripping his were the only signs she was in any pain at all. 

She smiled with relief “I’ll take that bath now.”

“Yah?” he hoped she couldn’t denote the panic in his voice.

She nodded silently and he stood, somewhat dazed.

_ Holy fucking shit! This is not fucking happening! _

Ben began pacing the length of the bathroom as the claw foot tub filled with steamy eucalyptus scented water, frantically combing his fingers through his curls.

_ Trapped for two days in my house with the bane of my miserable fucking existence. And I offered to draw her a bath. Because I am a god damn masochist. _

He chided himself as the tub filled at a rapid pace. He didn’t have a plan. This was absolutely not how he thought his day was going to go when he left the house that morning.

He recognized her immediately, as soon as he saw her face in the snow bank. He’d seen that face smiling warmly, proudly framed and displayed in his father’s office and his childhood home.

_ Rey. _

The girl he’d always heard so much about but never met. The girl he’d hated and resented from far way for years. Now sitting in his home, playing with his dog, soon to be bathing in his tub.

_ No turning back now. _

He scooped her up again, marveling at how little she was and how well she fit in his arms as he carried her into the steamy bathroom. He placed her on a stool and turned off the tap.

She was worrying her bottom lip nervously as he faced her, but he couldn’t help thinking again how cute she looked doing that, with her chestnut locks beginning to curl and frizz around her temples from the steam.

“I…umm…need your help to take my clothes off. And to climb into the tub. I need help with absolutely everything and it’s really frustrating.” She huffed out in a single breath, obviously exasperated by her circumstances.

“Right. I can tell you right away that I’ll have to cut that shirt right off, there is no way I can pull that off you without disturbing that shoulder. I’ll lend you one of mine to wear while you’re here, no worries sweetheart. “

_ Sweetheart? Really? _

“Ok but don’t look!” she squeaked as she shifted to stand from the wooden stool, causing it to creek on the bathroom tile.

“I wouldn’t” he answered with indignation.  _ At least I’ll try really hard not to. _

He removed her vest with ease and cut the flimsy Henley vertically down her spine, revealing her toned back.

Her jeans were next.

Rey was as helpful as she could manage, undoing the button and fly while unsuccessfully attempting to shuck them off her slender hips. “You have to do the rest Ben.”

He dry swallowed as he kneeled behind her, his fingers clutching the waistband and tugging them down gently, trying to not watch as he was getting her more and more naked, one excruciating inch at a time.  His face was inches away from the small of her back where he freely admired the soft curves of her perfect bottom.

A jolt of electricity went right through him as his thumbs grazed the back of her thighs while he pulled the jeans off and she balanced herself with her healthy arm on his shoulder.

Neither of them spoke any words as he stood behind her, looming over her delicate frame, undoing the clasps of her lacy bra with clumsy hands. The straps fell to the sides and he carefully slid them off her arms, holding his breath the entire time. He was all thumbs but he somehow managed to remove it.

Those same inept hands hooked into the band of her panties, tugging them down her supple thighs. He shuddered as a small gasp fell from her lips, but he could not muster anything to say.

He blamed it on the weed, but knew that it was all her. The effect she had on him was undeniable and he felt it on a molecular level as every cell in his body revolted when he stepped back from her, snatching a hand towel from the linen rack.

“So. That’s done. Hold this up in front of you so I can pick you up and get you in the tub ok?” She nodded as he handed her the towel, hoping she didn’t notice the way his voice got significantly more husky since they started this process.

He scooped her up for the third time that day, and placed her in the steamy bath. She clutched the small towel to her chest, her body tensing as much as his. Their faces were a hair’s breadth away. He felt his knees weaken as she looked at him with wide eyes. He wasn’t entirely certain that his mouth wasn’t just hanging open while he gaped at her like a complete idiot.

Thankfully, he would be able to leave and collect himself.

“Ben wait!” her head gripped his as he turned to exit “I …um I need your help I can’t reach to you wash my hair.”

“Oh. Yah. Sure”

_ Fuck. Me. _

Contrary to every single instinct that was telling him to remove all his clothes and jump in the tub with her, he pulled the stool at the end of the bathtub where her head was lolling to one side. He used his hands to gather water from the tub, mindful to not touch her naked body in any way while he did so. 

He poured some shampoo in his hands and lathered it into her tresses as soon as her hair was sufficiently wet. His fingers scraped her scalp meticulously, loosing himself in his task as she hummed with satisfaction under his touch.

He felt his cock stirring against his thigh, his body completely betraying him as Rey slid down in the tub and he was given a generous view. The was water was displaced for mere moments but that was more than sufficient for him to see the rosy peaks of her glistening breasts. They were tiny and perfect, his mouth watered as he imagined taking each of them between his lips.

“Ben?”

“Rey” her voice startled him. He felt like a voyeur who’d been caught red handed. He was a bad man, who should’ve been honest with this miracle of a girl from the get go. He should’ve told her before she trusted him enough to let him touch her like this.

“Thank you.”

He’d spent years of loathing this girl and all of that hatred had dissipated during the course of one single morning. Not only did he absolutely not hate her, but he was actually incredibly endeared to her.  Not to mention how turned on this entire experience had left him, he’s seen almost every bit of her flawless naked body.

He had to put a lid on these kinds of thoughts however, there is no way he would be allowed to touch her in all the ways he wanted to if she knew the truth. With any luck, they would make it through the next two days without incident and he would never cross paths with her again.

He was outright fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's POV and the end of their first day snowed in!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! <3

 

This was the most vulnerable Rey had felt in a really long time. Half of the appendages necessary for motion were incapacitated due to her own clumsiness and the other half were equally as useless since she lay there, naked, wet and high as a kite, to boot. If he was a predator, she was the easiest prey.  

 

There was something about him though, this plaid and denim clad tall drink of water that made her trust him implicitly, for reasons she herself could not begin to understand.

 

In all fairness, it’s not as if she had a choice. The winds howled as the storm outside intensified with every hour that had passed, making any sort of travel plans utterly impossible.

 

Once Ben lifted her from the tub, wrapping her in a bath sheet and trying as hard as he could to not look at her naked form - _thank God! -_  he’d left her sitting on his bed and gave her some privacy. She left Bebe a voicemail letting her know she was all right and proceeded to catalogue her surroundings.

 

The cabin was small but not lacking in any of the necessities for comfortable day-to-day living. There was only one bedroom and one bathroom that she could see, but the couch was comfortable. Not the worst place for her to crash for two days, all things considered.

 

His bedroom was sparsely furnished, aside from the king size sleigh bed and the mounted television, there was not much else she could see in terms of décor.

 

_A simple place for a simple man._

 

A very kind man -  brooding and a bit dark perhaps -  but whose help had been invaluable in keeping her from becoming a permanent fixture of the mountain, frozen inside a heap of snow somewhere in the Montana wilderness.

 

He’d even left her a change of clothes; a large red plaid fleece shirt and a pair of gym shorts.

 

_It’ll do._

 

She tugged the shirt over her healthy arm and slithered her broken appendage gently through the sleeve, taking the opportunity to assess her injury once more. He’d done a spectacular job setting it in place.

 

The shirt smelled like him - firewood, crisp snow and laundry detergent. It was intoxicating and she allowed herself a moment of indulgence as she sunk in the oversized shirt and sucked in a deep inhale, filling her lungs with the scent.

 

“Rey?”

 

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of his baritone voice. When had she fallen asleep? A while ago, judging from the darkness filling the room and the numbness creeping up the arm that supported her weight while she slept.

 

“How long did I sleep for? What time is it?”

 

He cleared his throat and answered awkwardly “It’s just past ten. You’ve been out a while but you needed it.”

 

“Oh my god I can’t believe you let me sleep the entire day!”

 

“Is there somewhere you needed to be?” He replied, dripping with sarcasm. _Fair enough._

 

“Hungry?”

 

Her belly rumbled loudly, almost shouting due to neglect.

 

He chuckled and approached as she propped herself up on her functioning elbow, her eyes adjusting better to the dark around her. “I don’t have a ton of fresh food but I did just whip up a spicy tomato bisque that’s pretty decent. I can make us some grilled cheese sandwiches to go with that if you’d like?”

 

She simply nodded her approval, concerned that speaking would allow the drool currently pooling in her mouth at an alarming pace dribble all over her chin. And it wasn’t just the feast he’d prepared that was attacking her senses.

 

Before, she’d been too preoccupied with her situation and her pain to really take him in, but now she finally got to really appreciate all of him. He was exceptionally handsome, a singular combination of rugged hardness and delicate beauty. Lips so perfect that practically begged to be kissed, eyes so deep that she feared looking in them for too long would lead to her getting so lost in them she would never want to leave.

 

The memory of those strong inked arms removing her clothing before bathing her sent a wave of heat throughout her entire body. She felt sweat dripping down her back and a different kind of wet heat pooling between her legs.

 

_Good god girl! Maybe you’re the rapey sex pervert!_

 

“You ok?” he asked with some worry behind his tone “Do you want to come out to the kitchen or eat in here?”

 

“I’ll come to the kitchen I don’t want to make a wet mess in your bed.”

 

She blushed immediately at her own words, and hoped her ridiculous double entendre didn’t give him an idea about where train of thought had been taking her. _Say more words you fool!_

 

 _“_ I just meant the soup. Um...if I spill it.” _Other words._

 

“Because it’s wet. I’m not wet! “ _Better words._

 

“But could be if eaten. Eating?” _No more words._

 

Her face burned and she wished there was some way the floor would suddenly gape and swallow her while.

 

“Right. Kitchen it is.”

 

By far, the best thing that had come out from this epic shit show of a day has been this incredibly handsome non-Sasquatch snack of a man willingly carrying her around his home. The way he scooped her up so effortlessly made her feel weightless and delicate.

 

The dinner was as delicious as expected, although being able to carefully study his face up close and cataloguing ever one of his beauty marks and micro expressions for later study preoccupied her more so than her empty belly.

 

_Thirsty. So thirsty you shameless hobag!_

 

She chastised herself and tried to focus her attentions on something else. Anything really!

 

“So Ben” she spoke between bites, dipping her hearty sandwich into the soup bowl “why do you live so far away from people?”

 

He met her eyes and pushed his empty dinner plate aside. He seemed to have an incredibly adorable tell whenever he was nervous; he chewed just slightly on the inside of his lip and looked so sweet and vulnerable that it made Rey’s heart stop all together for a moment. She’d asked before, when she was attempting to size him up earlier in the day, and he’d given her a fairly vague answer. As anyone would, when questioned by a perfect stranger about their life choices.

 

“I didn’t always live so far off the grid. But I learned very quickly that people in general and family specifically are overrated.”

 

She didn’t know him. She didn’t know his family. And yet, she could feel rage bubbling up in her throat at his seemly careless discarding of his own kin.

 

“That’s a very narrow view.”

 

“It’s not” he simply sighed and finished his meal, leaving all her questions unanswered and feeling like she’d crossed some unseen boundary he’d delimited.

 

The silence was uncomfortable and weighed on Rey as the man stood and began washing the dishes, facing the window and successfully avoiding her. Too silent, too uncomfortable to keep this going for another day at least.

 

“Ben I’m sorry.” He ceased his activity for a moment but his back remained turned to her, the vast broadness of his shoulders unmoved as he seemed to no longer be breathing.

 

“I shouldn’t have asked, I didn’t mean to sound so judgy.” She continued, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I just...well...I’ve just never had a family of my own. I can’t imagine anyone I cared about disappointing me like that.” She’d always taken the odds-and-ends of quasi-affection offered to her painfully seldom.

 

Ben faced her, giving her his undivided attention while drying the plates with a hand towel, his eyes intensely scrutinizing her. Since he’d still not uttered a single word, Rey continued to ramble on, akin to word vomit.

 

“See, I grew up in the system. The people who had me didn’t want me, the foster parents I had only cared about the pay cheque I was guaranteeing them. I never had a family of my own until I was thirteen. When she found me.”

 

“Who?” The sound of his voice startled her, having said nothing for what seemed like an eternity.

 

“Leia. She was my doctor at the children’s hospital when I went in for the umpteenth time with broken bones and no explanations. She patched me up and took me home when the hospital allowed me to leave. She invited me for dinner at her home that night and I never left. She’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a parent.” She sighed, revisiting those memories always left her exhausted.

 

Leia wasn’t just a parent and a mentor; she was her kindred spirit, a true partner in shared loneliness. Leia had lost her family and Rey had never had one. They each played the part for the other as close to the real thing as possible. Most days it was almost enough.

 

Her attention focused on Ben again, whose expression was hard to read as he stood in front of her, silent and sullen. “Any who! Sorry about that, there’s just something about comfort food that makes me blab on senselessly. Like the emotional equivalent of spilling out my purse in front of a complete stranger.”

 

He was gnawing the inside of his cheek again, seemingly mulling over her words. “The thing about putting people on a pedestal like that is they inevitably let you down when they fall.”

 

He clearly has his own issues with his family. _Living in the middle of the fucking woods in Montana sort of hints at that doesn’t it? He’s a total fucking stranger and you should shut your mouth and not antagonize him lest he toss you on your gimped ass._

 

“You’re very young to be so bitter.” The words slipped out unbidden, her mouth making no effort to abide by what her brain’s directions.

 

“You don’t know anything about me?” The words sounded almost like a question rather than a statement. And he was right. It wasn’t his fault that he’d unknowingly struck such a nerve with her.

 

“Well that’s not entirely true. I know you’re an absolutely decent human who rescued a total stranger from certain death. I’ll be in your debt forever after this. In the interest of reducing the awkwardness of this stay, let’s change the subject and be friends ok?” She reached out her hand and he enveloped it in his but he never took his eyes away from hers.

 

“Friends.” He confirmed in a low timbre, the heat from his touch engulfing her and reaching her cheeks as she took in the fact they were still holding hands.

 

“Do you want to watch a movie? I can take you back to your bed if you want, don’t feel obligated to hang out with me.”

 

“No that’s Ok. Trust me I’ve spent more than enough time alone.” _And now that my only friend in the world is leaving me, there’s plenty more alone time to come._

 

 _“_ But we could watch it in the bedroom if you wanted? That way we can both be comfy and it would save you a trip.” _Yes, that’s exactly why we invited him to watch movies in bed._ She mentally rolled her eyes at herself. She hasn’t even attempted to put any weight on her foot, not even to test it out. Being towed around by a willing hot man was a treat she was not about to relinquish just yet.

 

He let go of her hand and scooped her up, returning her to the nest of plaid, where he gently placed her against a wall of pillows. Chewie jumped up on the bed and laid at her feet, almost careful not to nudge her while Ben took off his boots and settled on the other side.

 

“Normally I would suggest Netflix but since we don’t have any internet right now, we have a limited selection.” He said as he reached down below somewhere and pulled up a plastic case. “Let’s see...we have all the _Die Hard’s, Canadian Bacon_ and _Meet me in St. Louis.”_

 

 _“_ That is an eclectic mix! Never pictured you as a Judy Garland fan! Are those VHS tapes?”

 

“I’m not. This was my mother’s favorite Christmas movie, we always had to watch it on Christmas Eve when I was a kid. And yes, those are VHS tapes, kid. I’m old as fuck!”

 

“That’s so funny! This is Leila’s favorite as well. She and I always spend Christmas Day together eating Chinese takeout and junk food, watching old movies.”

 

“Not much of a cook.” He said dryly as he started up the ancient VCR and popped in the tape.

 

“No, she most definitely is not. But she’s very good at ordering out.” She giggled, thinking back to the last failed gastronomic experiment Leia had made her an accomplice to. She had to give her credit though, most people with her skill level would never have the courage to attempt a full thanksgiving dinner. In the end, they feasted on peanut butter jelly sandwiches and charcuterie board. Could be a new tradition.

 

Somewhere between _Skip to my Lou_ and _Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ she’d been lulled back to sleep. She woke up disoriented but immediately aware that she was not alone; Ben was sleeping soundly next to her, breathing slowly and snoring softly. The white light from the blizzard outside trickled in through the skylight right above them, illuminating the contours of his face and softening all his hard edges.

 

She held her breath as she reached her healthy arm and brushed unruly curls out of his face. To her complete surprise she felt his arm tightening around her bottom and scoop her close to his body. He tucked his head under her chin, cooing softly in his sleep.

 

Instead of pulling away, she relaxed into his touch and buried her face in his hair. He smelled of grilled cheese, crisp fresh snow and comfort.

 

She liked him.

 

A lot.

 

Suddenly the prospect of spending New Year’s eve with him in his home did not seem nearly as daunting.

 

Rey watched the storm continue to rage outside, the snowflakes swirling in their violent dance, mirroring the butterflies tumbling in her chest, until her eyelids grew heavy and she gave into sleep once more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Eve. Ben POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Infinite apologies once again for being so slow to update! 
> 
> ***Note - there's smut. Sprinkled throughout and concentrated towards the end.***

_ I am a bad man. _

Ben’s first thoughts as he woke were self deprecating, as always. This time however, he felt even worse than the usual.

The soft silence of the falling snow that usually grounded and invigorated him only served to further his sense of panic. He was stuck inside his cabin with Rey, the girl he’s resented for so many years, the child both his parents had always wanted and had successfully replaced him with, seemingly erasing all trace of his existence. 

He had fallen asleep allowing a respectable distance between his body and Rey’s but somehow in the night, they had tangled together. He was very much aware of how painfully hard he was with Rey nestled in his lap, her supple bottom firm and warm on him. During the night, her shirt had creeped up her little form, leaving the thin fabric of his sweatpants as the only barrier between his body and what it clearly wanted. 

He was frozen with indecision; his mind was telling him to peel away from her and immediately put as much distance as possible between them. What his body wanted though, was an entirely different story. To make matters exponentially worse, Rey suddenly rolled her hips and let out a small, soft sound and Ben felt like he was on fire. 

She turned to face him, still asleep and she winced, the motion obviously causing her pain. He spent a few seconds  watching her, mesmerized by her innocent beauty and sincere vulnerability. 

Her eyes opened slowly, confusion written on her face briefly but she processed her surroundings quickly, recognizing him and recalling where she was. “Good morning” her small voice rang like a chime in his ears. 

Ben was lost in her sleepy gaze; her pretty eyes were heavy lidded with sleep and a pink flush hinted that she had been overheated in the night. He was staring at her and couldn’t look away. It suddenly occurred to him that his arms were tightly wrapped around her, that when she’d turned to face him his idle hands found their way around her ample bottom. 

_ Get up. Leave. Stop touching her for fucks sakes! _

Ben made to move away from her but before he could disentangle himself from her body, her mouth was on his, swallowing his feeble protests before he could speak them.

Rey’s lips were heaven - Soft and pliable, warm and eager. Her kiss was tentative at first, slowly testing the waters with featherlight touches. Ben convinced himself that he was in control, that this was ok and he would stop before it went too far.

She pulled his bottom lip between hers, biting him just enough to elicit a loud groan from deep inside his chest. He should stop.

He would. 

But instead, he deepened the kiss, his mouth placing gentle pressure on hers as his tongue traced the seam of her lips. They parted for him immediately, permitting him to lick inside her mouth, his tongue forcefully massaging hers, further adding to the raging inferno building inside him.

He greedily swallowed Rey’s moans as his hand hiked her leg around his hip and worked their way up her thighs, under the shirt and up her spine. 

“Ouch!” She whimpered as he rolled her over, completely forgetting about her dislocated shoulder and immediately feeling regret because he’d hurt her. Because he lost all semblance of self control and was well on the way to fucking the daylights out of her. 

_ You can’t sleep with her, you idiot! What the fuck are you thinking!? _

This would be the one thing that would bring his long estranged mother to his door, so she could wring his neck with her own capable hands.

He lifted himself off her and stood as far as he could get from the bed in a single motion. Rey’s eyes were wide, filled with questions and a hint of disappointment. 

“I’m sorry Rey. That was out of line. I apologize I got totally carried away. I’ll umm…get us some breakfast ok?” 

“Ben, wait!” She shouted but he kept going, too unsettled to turn around. Too much of a coward to face her and her righteous indignation.

 

***

 

To his dismay and utter relief, the rest of the day flew by without the amount of awkwardness he was expecting. Sure, he avoided making direct eye contact with her, especially after she’d hobbled out into his kitchen wearing a pair of his gym shorts and a white waffle-pattern Henley that he’d left out for her. 

The soft shirt left little to the imagination as it came to her lithe body hidden under there and Ben was increasingly alarmed at how often he would look. He had to force himself to think about anything that would help him keep a safe distance.

Thinking about his family seemed to do the trick.

Rey’s presence in his parents lives had tormented him for years, her existence somehow always hanging over him like a malevolent shadow. And now she was torturing him with every passing moment and she didn’t even know it. 

They ate breakfast and lunch in amiable silence. He didn’t know her well but it became clear that a sure way to this girl’s heart was through her stomach - not that he wanted anything to do with her heart. 

She was still fairly weak after her injuries and dozed off a few times throughout the day, snuggling Chewie in front of the fireplace. 

There was no cable, no tv and they’ve already gone through his limited supply of VHS tapes, when she spotted his bookshelf. She found  _ The Lord of the Rings  _ hidden between his medical journals and athletic performance books and snatched it, engrossing herself in the story for the better part of the afternoon.

Ben followed her lead, picking out the third book in the trilogy - his favourite - and settled in his rocking chair. He was lost in the prose when she spoke again.

“Which character do you relate to?” 

“What?” Her question genuinely took him by surprise.

“These books are well worn, I suspect they’re your favourites? So which of them is the most relatable to you? I always assume that’s what drives people to read books over and over again. That sense of kinship with one of the characters that allows them to get lost in their journey and escape the day-to-day.”

She was very clever and dangerously observant. Ben placed his book on his lap, where his left ankle was resting lazily over his right knee and thought about his answer.

“I’m not sure. I think Isildur maybe? What about you?”

Her brows creased, clearly not approving of his answer. 

“Isildur isn’t even a main character though, hardly someone relatable in any way. Are you sure you don’t mean Aragorn?”

“No. Aragorn was the lost son, he brought hope back to his family and his people. Isildur ruined everything for everyone. He chose to pursue his own agenda, followed his own destiny to the disappointment and destruction of his entire family. Completely irredeemable. That’s more on par for me I think.” 

He was stunned by his own blunt honesty, his entire life’s story perfectly summed up and left unedited for Rey to observe and dissect.

“That seems harsh. Everyone can be redeemed and Isildur is as well, in the end. That’s sort of the point of the entire story isn’t it? Hope and love will always win - and all you need is a spark. Are you always this hard on yourself?”

He shrugged and decided she was quite naive. But incredibly endearing at the same time.

“Just being honest. What about you, who’s your Middle Earth spirit animal?” Ben wanted nothing better than to remove the spotlight from him, this was not a road he was willing to go on and take her along as a passenger. 

“Hmmm…one of the hobbits maybe? I often feel that the life I’m living isn’t necessarily a result of my own choices. Moreso a cacophony of errors and outside influences.” 

She sighed, as if that was the first time she’d come to that conclusion. For himself, Ben mused that Leia Organa could infect play the part of Gandalf, always meddling into people’s lives unbidden creating messes and contributing to chaos. 

“Well this got super serious.” Rey giggled and Ben did as well, nodding in agreement.

“So tell me something about yourself. All I know is you live in Seattle and are in contention for worst prepared hiker ever.” He was coaxing her into a conversation he had no business starting. But there was something about her vulnerability and honesty that he found magnetic and impossible to resist.

Rey’s hands carded through Chewie’s thick fur as she began to speak softly and by the time she was finished, she was in tears. 

And so was Ben. 

It wasn’t just the facts of the story that broke his heart - hearing that she’d been abandoned by her junkie parents and forced to go through the foster system was infuriating. But hearing her speak about Han and Leia and what they’ve meant to her, how they lifted her up and helped her succeed was almost unbearable.

Ben was overwhelmed by the mixed bag of emotions he was concurrently experiencing. He was jealous of her. He was also in awe of her resilience and drive to succeed against all odds. That same awe left him feeling guilty about his choices and everything he’d always taken for granted and easily turned his back on. 

Most of all, he was broken-hearted because he now wanted her more than anything he ever had, but he knew that he could not keep her.

He woke up feeling like a bad man. Now that fact was confirmed. 

Rey trusted him enough to open up and share everything with him and he just sat there, full of secrets and shame, painfully aware that every word she uttered without him confessing everything furthered his descent into cemented unredeemable asshole status.

At some point in her story, Ben had gravitated to her, taking Chewie’s spot and found himself holding her in his arms, his awkwardly large fingers interlaced with hers as her head rested on his chest, just below his collar bones. 

_ Fuck say something! Anything?!  _

As if she could sense his turmoil, she lifted her head and looked at him through a wet thicket of lashes before her lips brushed his softly. 

_ Stop. You need to stop. You can’t have this Solo.  _

But once more, like earlier that morning, he could not exercise any self control around her. The way she looked at him, the way she found comfort in his arms and sought his touch made him feel worthy. 

_ But you’re not worthy are you?  _

He chided himself and pulled away from her warm lips. Rey looked at him puzzled, a look of sadness creasing her brows, feeling the pangs is his rejection.

“Rey, we shouldn’t.”

“Why?” She asked while gathering her legs and straddling him, facing him. Her weight felt exquisite in his lap, his cock stirred feeling the heat radiating between her legs. 

_ “ _ Because…”  _ because I’m a bad man, because up until yesterday I hated you. Because I’m a coward and I don’t deserve you. _

“Because I don’t want to take advantage of you. You’re stuck here for another day and I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I don’t.” She leaned in to kiss him again and whispered against his lips “I want you.”

A good man would’ve stopped her. A man with scruples would’ve explained everything and begged forgiveness at her feet. 

But he was not a good man. 

His hands explored the lush curves of her waist and hips as she moved, while he kissed her greedily. She was tentative at first but soon quickened with his encouragement, rolling her hips in a steady intoxicating rhythm.

Her mouth opened under his as his hands snaked under the Henley and found her cute little breasts that he’d watched all day. Her nipples stiffened immediately under his touch. 

“Touch me Ben.” She whispered in a husky tone.

He ducked his head and didn’t stop until her stiff peaks were pink and wet and shiny. 

Rey’s breaths were ragged, just like his, and the sweet whimpering sounds she made encouraged him to continue his ministrations.

_ These fucking shorts have got to go. _

He tugged the offending garment from her hips as she made room for him to manoeuvre and he thought of a better idea.

Ben wrapped his arms around her little bottom and stood, walking them to his bedroom without jostling her too much.

He placed her on his bed as gently as he could muster. As much as he wanted to tear the shirt off her, he had to be mindful of her injury. Thus began the painful process of unbuttoning every single slippery minuscule button. 

_ Jesus fucking hell! Zippers only from now on!  _

He didn’t have time to grumble because Rey was sprawled completely naked on his bed and his knees weakened, pulling him to the floor in front of her. 

Ben peppered kisses on the inside of her legs, thumbs sliding up her firm things, spreading her. She was pink and wet and glistening already, her perfect cunt begging to be devoured. He was more than happy to comply.

“Fuck Rey, you have such a pretty pussy.I’m going to make you cum with my mouth.” 

She moaned as he licked the length of her slit all the way to her clit. Her little bundle of nerves was so sensitive, so responsive to his touches that he felt in danger of finishing before they even got started. Ben wrapped his hand around his throbbing cock, trying to relieve the painful pressure building rapidly. 

True to his promise, he lapped at her cunt until her thighs clenched around his head and her back was arched high off the bed, her little hands fisting the sheet around her as she climaxed with a loud moan. 

Watching Rey cum for him, covered in sweat and smiling sated was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. 

“Come up here.” she ordered him in a soft voice and he obeyed. 

He kissed her and licked her breasts again, nestling himself between her open thighs and shucking off his pants and underwear.  

“Can I fuck you?” 

The desperate plea left his lips just seconds before his brain informed him that he had no form of protection. He thought he was going to throw up at the thought of stopping but he had to be responsible.

“Shit, I don’t have anything for it. Fuck Rey I’m sorry!” he wailed like an injured wild animal. 

She considered him carefully as she caught her breath and twirled her fingers through his unruly hair. 

“I don’t care. I’m on the pill and I haven’t had much in terms of ...activity.” She blushed and Ben found it beyond cute, considering that she was sprawled naked under him after he’d just finished eating her out. 

It pained him again to see her trust him like this. For now though, his brain was silenced.

“Are you sure?” Ben asked again, hoping she hadn’t changed her mind. 

She grinned and pulled him down for another wet kiss as her hand explored his back and shoulders. 

He slid both his arms under her and flipped them so she could be on top. “This way you won’t get hurt.” he clarified.

Rey was drenched and ready for him, but he still wanted to make sure she could take him; he slid two fingers inside her heat, pumping slowly and stretching her as she moaned in his mouth. 

He pulled away his hand and dipped the head of his cock between her folds, covering himself in her warm slick. Rey slid herself down his length and sheathed him entirely in one go. Both of them groaned loudly at the tight fit, allowing each other a moment to get used to the exquisite feel. 

Rey rolled her hips and moved slowly, taking all of him as she balanced herself in his lap. His hands held on to her hips, his fingers dug into the supple flesh of her ass as she fucked herself with his cock. He would not last much longer but he needed to feel her cum again. 

He snaked a hand between them, the pads of his fingers circling around her clit once more, giving her what she needed to send her over the edge. 

Again her body answered his attentions and he felt her pussy walls clench and shudder around him as she came, sending him towards his own release. He came with a violent growl, clenching his jaw as he filled her with his spend. 

He didn’t pull out of her immediately; instead he lingered, peppering her with lazy kisses and lavishing her with praise. 

She smiled for him so pretty, his lovely girl. 

_ Not yours Solo. Never yours.  _

His thoughts immediately focused on his guilt. 

_ Tomorrow. We still have tomorrow and I will tell her everything.  _

He lifter her and placed her gently under the covers before he tucked himself in next to her.

“Happy New Year Ben.” she whispered to him. He’d forgotten all about it. Rey was the only thing that mattered. 

“Happy New Year sweetheart.”  he answered and kissed her slowly.

_ Will she still look at me like that once she finds out who I am and what I’ve done?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben needs to talk to her. He should've said something right from the get go. I know this. But he didn't :) 
> 
> Thanks so much for continuing to read this and I am sorry it's taken so long to get here!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of this little fic :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you
> 
>  
> 
> [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae)
> 
>  
> 
> for your beta of this chapter!  
> And again, sorry Trixie that it is SO late!

 

Seeing the sun shine brightly made her sad.

 

The winter morning woke Rey, her eyes squinting shut as they weren't accustomed to the brilliant light coming through the window and the skylight above them. It almost felt as if she’d been sleeping under a spotlight, with the light rays glistening through the glass, leaving nothing hidden.

 

What she was feeling wasn’t necessarily the pang of regret- although it was out of character for her to be climbing into bed with a man she barely knew. No, she would never change that.

 

Her chest tightened, as she felt the pull of loneliness creeping towards her heart while she watched Ben sleep. She already missed him, able to feel the lingering sensation of his touch.

 

Her eyes welled up with tears, but they were abated when he slowly opened his eyes. His face was wrinkled with sleep and visibly annoyed by the sun’s glare .

 

“Good morning.” Ben smiled, his expression melting her. His eyes were lighter, closer to a deep green than the deep cocoa orbs she’d gotten used to. His smile reached them, the creases at the corners of his eyes deepening.

 

“Hi.” She barely got the word out before  he was closing the distance between them and sealed his lips to hers. Ben’s kiss was so sweet, so gentle in contrast to the hungry way he’d practically consumed her hours ago.

 

Rey knew she should have gotten up then, gotten a hold of her worried friends and made her way back to them. But his embrace was warm and he smelled of musk and sin. She felt a renewed urgency in his kiss. His rock-hard cock left no room to debate what he had in mind for breakfast.

 

Real life could wait a few more hours.

 

***

 

“Looks like the cell network is functioning again.” He spoke softly after checking his device. “Holy shit, look at all these missed calls. They must be from your people.” Ben handed her the phone, as she worked on finishing the French toast and fresh berries he had prepared.

 

“I gave them your number, just in case. It’s a good thing I did, because my phone is still not getting any reception,” she replied. Rey tossed the useless device to the side of the counter. Ben turned away to do dishes and give her some semblance of privacy.

 

She dialed her best friend’s phone number - the only number she knew off by heart - and waited for her to pick up. Her eyes were still on Ben however, greedily inventorying every one of his features and storing it away for later, when she would be alone once more.

 

“Hey, Bebe! Happy New Year and all that jazz! How was your night?” she asked, as her peppy friend answered the phone out of breath. Bebe always lost her phone, keys, shoes - basically everything and anything. Itt resulted in her spending a lot of time tracking her items.

 

“Oh em gee, Rey! We’ve been so worried about you! Are you ok? Can we come get you? Who’s this dude you’re staying with? Is he hot?” Bebe’s high pitched voice chirped from the other side of the call.

 

_If you only knew._

 

“Okay, okay, one thing at a time, please! I’m staying with a really friendly man and his bear-dog. Not too far away from you, I think. His name is Ben Solo.”

 

He stilled, growing tense from the sound of his own name, yet he continued his chores diligently.

 

“Did you just say you’re staying with Ben Solo?” Poe’s chimed in over the speaker.

 

“Yes, that’s his name Poe.” Her answer had a hint of salt in it. For some reason, Rey felt protective towards Ben.

 

“Rey! Tell me where you are. I’ll come get you.” Poe’s normally jovial tone was suddenly curt, all traces of chipperness gone from his voice.

 

Rey swivelled her bar stool, putting some distance between herself and the subject of her conversation. “Why are you being weird?” she shrilled.

 

“Rey! He’s Leia and Han Solo’s son. The pro football player? The one who nearly destroyed Dr. Skywalker’s reputation, led to Leia and Han getting divorced, tarnished the team’s reputation - does this ring any bells? Hello???”

 

She dropped the phone in her lap, trying to keep the rapidly building nausea at bay. She’d heard the story so many times. Rey had shed tears when Leia recounted how she had lost her son with a broken heart. He chose football over a promising medical career and then chose to cheat rather than lose. He was the same man who, in the end, had chosen to abandon his family rather than admit his mistakes. Ben was the man who’d broken her mentor’s heart, the man Rey had never seen but had always hated from afar .

 

Rey still heard Poe’s voice in the other end of the phone call but she was processing everything she’s just heard. Of course the universe would be this cruel.

 

“You lied to me.” Was the only response she could muster. The calm in her voice did not match the maelstrom of emotions that was quickly building in her heart.

 

Ben was already facing her, when she looked up to meet his gaze. His dark eyes bore right into her soul, as he bit his lip and confirmed her worst fear, “I did. I’m sorry.”

 

She wanted to believe he was remorseful, but they had spent so much time together, he had so many opportunities to tell her and yet, he chose to stay silent.

 

Rey knew she had no right to be upset with him; they barely knew each other. In reality, it had only been two days, even if it seemed like they’d spent a lifetime together.

 

His cozy cabin, where she’d felt so comfortable and cared for, suddenly seemed too small for them both. The space was overfilled, suffocating with unspoken hurt and thick tension.

 

“It’s too late to apologize, Ben. I need to leave.”

 

“I understand.”

 

Those were the last words Ben spoke to her. He stood idly by, as she changed into her dry clothes. She never even thanked him on her way out of his house and out of hs life. He stood silent, leaning on his doorway, and watching her climb into Poe’s truck.

 

Rey observed through the passenger side mirror, as his figure became smaller and smaller, until he was nothing but a speck of dust. Bile pooled at the back of her throat,  the pain from her shattered heart overwhelmed her. Only then did she  finally shed the tears that had filled her eyes to the brim.

 

***

 

Rey had been back in Seattle for a few weeks, before she answered Leia’s invitation. She had an inkling what the subject of the meeting was going to be, but she wasn’t able to devise sufficient excuses to avoid her mentor.

 

She dropped off the last of Bebe’s packed boxes at the FedEx office and headed towards Leia’s apartment in Georgetown. Rey normally loved visiting Doctor Organa. She should have enjoyed the short walk to the beautiful historic loft, but today Rey’s feet felt weighed down with lead, even though her ankle was free of its cast and her arm was out of the protective sling.

 

At the very least the weather agreed with her; dark skies and intermittent rain made for a gloomy dreary day, a common occurrence for  Seattle in late January.

 

She stood in front of the brick building for a few moments, before she dialed Leia’s number on the intercom.

 

The door buzzed without hesitation, as her host was well aware of Rey’s arrival - she had messaged her three times in the past two days to ensure Rey was still coming.

 

She slowly walked up the two flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator, prolonging the inevitable. When she reached the landing, she came face to face with Leia, who was waiting outside her apartment.

 

“Rey! I’ve missed you so much child. Happy New Year!” Doctor Organa embraced her warmly.

 

“I missed you too, Leia. I’m sorry I kept cancelling. I’ve just been busy with school and Bebe moving out and…” Leia interrupted Rey by placing an index finger gently on her lips.

 

“Hush now. There’s no need to explain to me why you needed space. I heard what happened over the holiday. I just wanted to check on you and make sure you are okay. Come in, would you? I made us lunch!”

 

“You did?” Rey inquired, attempting to hide her apprehension. Leia Organa was many things, but an accomplished chef she was decidedly not.

 

Leia cackled and shook her head. “I’ve seen that look before Rey. Have no fear though, by _made_ I meant I’ve ordered delivery.”

 

Rey smiled, as she stepped in behind the shorter woman. The anxious whirlwind, she’d worked herself up to, dissipating with every passing moment. She sat in her usual chair, a comfortable chaise in front of the large loft window where she’d made a habit out of watching the rain fall. Rey had even napped there a few times, accompanied by Leia’s cats -  Artoo and Threepioh, who purred and greeted her happily when she took her seat.

 

“So...you met my son.” Without too much preamble, Leia cut right to the crux of the matter.

 

Rey flushed all over, as the memories of the time with Ben came to the forefront of her mind. She had tried not think about him and those two days in his cabin, but it was nearly impossible.

 

“Yes,” was all she could manage to say in response.

 

“And I heard he wasn’t exactly forthcoming with you.”

 

“No.” Rey hoped by answering Leia directly and without sentiment, she’d be able to  withhold her tears, but her eyes were already beginning to sting.

 

Leia watched her intently. “Rey, I know you’ve heard all the stories about him, about everything he’s done. But I never heard his side of things. I assumed he was only motivated by Snoke’s money and the lure of celebrity fame that professional football offered. I never listened to him. I blamed him for my marriage failing. I blamed him for the strain on my relationship with Luke. I lost _him_ and I blamed that on him as well.”

 

Tears spilled from Leia’s red rimmed eyes and it occurred to Rey that she’d been crying for some time as well.

 

Leia sat down on the chaise next to Rey and held her hands in her own. “Sweetheart, I know everything that happened. I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

 

“What do you mean, Leia? I haven’t spoken a word to anyone, not even Bebe.”

 

Leia shook her head and smiled just a little. “No, you haven’t. But I know all the same. Here, this came for you.” She handed Rey an envelope written in beautiful calligraphy. While it was addressed to Rey, it had Leia’s address on it.

 

Rey’s heart stopped. She felt as though the room had instantly been depleted of oxygen.

 

“Read it, Rey. I’m going to give you some privacy. Don’t leave when you’re done, though, please?”

 

Rey nodded her confirmation, without looking up. Her fingers trembled, as they caressed the envelope. She held her breath, ripped the seams and tore it open. Her eyes scanned over the delicate handwriting, her attention focused on the signature at the end - _Ben Solo._

 

It wasn’t a long letter, but she read it over a half dozen times before her mind made sense of any of the words. The entire gesture was so curious, so old fashioned and romantic, but also awkward and somewhat strange given he was a man in his thirties living in the digital age.

 

_He does live in a cabin in the middle of the woods with a VCR and Judy Garland tapes as his only source of entertainment._

 

She smiled at her own quip. It was the first time in weeks that she’d even had a reason to be amused.

 

Rey unfolded the piece of paper one more time, carefully examining its contents.

 

_Rey,_

_As you know all too well, I’m not a man who is quick to apologize. I’ve always felt that although I’ve often fucked up, there were always two sides to the story and I fiercely defended my own._

_I didn’t want to follow the path my mother and uncle laid out for me, so I rebelled. I chose football over medical school and I stand by that decision. I didn’t want to follow the path set by my family’s legacy and I wanted to be the master of my own destiny._

_I wanted to stay at the top of my game. In order to be the star Snoke wanted,  I cheated. I took performance enhancing drugs and knowingly implicated the Skywalker clinic in a scandal that almost destroyed  our family business . If I was going down, I was taking them with me. As wrong as it was, I made that choice._

_You’ve heard all of this before._

_I left my life behind. My career, Snoke, my family - all of it. I killed my past and let the ashes scatter to the winds._

_You know all this.  But here are some things you don’t know._

_You entered into my life like an avalanche, Rey. I saw your face and recognized you instantly. The vision of your has been imprinted in my mind for years. You were everything I never was - a source of pride for my parents, a good kid, the child they always wanted and more painful to admit, the child they deserved. I could never reach the pedestal they put you on. I hated you for it._

_Your presence in my house turned my entire life upside down You couldn’t possibly have any idea how big your effect  was. I had to face my past, my feelings and everything I’ve done and all without uttering a word to you because I was terrified._

_You, Rey, are absolutely terrifying._

_Your effortless kindness and honesty is impossible to resist. I wanted to tell you, I wanted to confess to you, but I couldn’t. I’m a selfish asshole and I wanted to keep you. Not in a creepy way. I just wanted so badly to be the person you saw through your eyes.  I wanted to be  a good man._

_I should’ve trusted you with the truth. I should’ve told you everything and let you make your own decisions._

_I know this sounds insane, but this is my confession. I’m not going to lie to you again. Before anything happened between us, before the first hour of your presence in my home was up, I was a goner._

_Having to stand by and watch you leave me, knowing how I’d fucked it up was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. It was not my choice, but I fell in love with you, Rey._

_I need you to know that._

_I don’t deserve your forgiveness, so I won’t ask for it. All I can hope for is that you won’t let this eclipse the sunny way you live, Rey. You deserve only the best things out of life, only love and happiness and light._

_Rey, you brought light back into my life. Even if two days is all the time we’ll ever have together, it will be enough for me._

_I will love you forever._

_Yours always,_

_Ben Solo_

 

Rey exhaled and wiped the stream of tears running down her face with the back of her hand.

 

“Are you alright, dear?” Leia called into the room. About fifteen minutes had passed since she left Rey alone, but it felt like hours.

 

“Honestly? No.”

 

“Honey, I can’t say that I understand what you feel. I don’t want to sway your decision, but I want to tell you something; the reason I wanted to see you was to thank you.”

 

“Thank me?” Rey asked confused.

 

“You brought my son back to me. Before he reached out to you, he and I had a long overdue chat. It’s not perfect. There are years of hurt, and some of it may take an entire lifetime to work through, but we’re doing it together. And it’s all because of you Rey. I don’t know _everything_ that happened between you two, but you leaving was the catalyst that sparked the flame that brought down the wall between us. I know that’s very flowery way to put it, but you’ve made an impression.”

 

Overwhelmed was a mild description of what Rey felt. It was too much to process all at once, so she pulled her knees up to her chest. She’d always done this, when she felt her anxiety creep up. Quietly, she counted her breaths.

 

Leia sat next to her, tracing small soothing circles on her spine. “I can imagine whatever he said was a lot. Ben was always an intense child and he always felt everything - well - intensely.”

 

Rey rested her chin on her knees, as she listened.

 

“But Leia, he’s done so many terrible things to you. He lied to me. How do we trust each other and rebuild after everything that’s happened?”

 

“Ben and I have met a few times to talk about things,” Leia shared. “We’ve started going to a family therapist for weekly sessions. Progress is slow, but it’s happening and it’s encouraging. I’ve had many things to own up to, as well. We have everything we need right here.” She sighed, as Rey gazed at her.

 

“Therapy?” Rey’s mind was reeling. “Wait. Does that mean - Leia, is he here?” she asked and felt her heart leap at the prospect of seeing him again so soon.

 

Doctor Organa nodded. She chewed on the inside of her cheek the exact same way Ben did when he was nervous.

 

“Yes, dear. He’s been staying with me for a couple of weeks now. I sent him on some errands.”

 

“Is that why you’ve been so insistent on me coming to see you?”

 

Leia smiled again. “I wanted you to read what he had to say. I didn’t want to just spring him on you without warning, but I should tell you that he will be back soon. If you don’t want to see him, if you’re not ready to forgive him just yet, then you should probably get going.”

 

Indecision seized Rey. Frenzied thoughts swirled through her mind. They all came to an abrupt halt,  as the door to the apartment opened.

 

Ben stood in front of her, dressed in dark denim and a white dress shirt and tie. He was soaked through from the wet drizzle outside. He appeared just as stunned to see her.

 

His eyes fell to her hands, where he recognized the letter she was clutching.

 

“Rey.” he stepped gingerly towards her, in the same manner one would approach a skittish animal.

 

“I read your letter. Did you mean it?”

 

“Every single word, sweetheart.”

 

Her mind warned her to proceed with caution.

 

For once, however, she didn’t listen. Whatever instincts were driving her now, they were untamed. She leapt into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a searing kiss.

 

“I’m so sorry, Rey,” he apologized between the hurried kisses he peppered across her face. “I should’ve been honest with you. I should never had let you leave.”

 

He was warm in her arms and he tasted incredible on her lips. Rey was convinced this was the right decision. They had so many things to talk through. They still didn’t know each other as well as they should, but there was time for all of that later.

 

She looked up at him through wet lashes and smiled when his chocolate eyes met hers. “I love you too, you know?”

 

He chuckled. Ben let out a long exhale into her hair, as he pulled her close to his chest. “Thank god, otherwise I would’ve felt like a complete dumbass.”

 

“You _are_ a dumbass.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys!!!!! I appreciate all the love and support you've had for this fic  
> xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> [Georgetown - Seattle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgetown,_Seattle)


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